Ramirez Ramblings

Off To A Great Start!

2012-01-20T18:45:00.005-06:00

Well 2012 certainly started off with a wonderful and memorable baby dedication at The Moody Church! Ari was well behaved and he was certainly on his 'A' game... and so were the parents! Thankfully there was no screaming or crying or pouting by any party so we believe and we're thankful that it was all foreordained by God!

We're sure there were some people that were not able to attend for whatever reason or another, being New Year's Day, so here is the video of the entire baby dedication:

Special thanks to Pastor Bob for eloquently and succinctly sharing our story with you and for Pastor Lutzer who finally had a chance to dedicate our baby!

Can we ask a favor from you? With God's help and guidance, would you promise to support us with your prayers and encouragements so that Ari may come to maturity in the ways of godliness? Believe us, we will need all the help we can get!

Eternally greatful to our Lord and Savior,

Vincent & Lark

But Jesus looked at them and said,

“With man this is impossible, but with God all things are possible.”

Matthew 19:26

Dedicated To The One WE Love

2011-12-31T20:04:00.004-06:00

If you're as old as we are, you're probably humming the melody of a famous song performed by the Mamas and the Papas. Reminisce by clicking HERE.

Actually, tomorrow, New Year's Day, we are dedicating little Ari Jeremiah to the one we love. Our promise to the Lord that we will be faithful to raise him up in a manner that would bring honor and glory to Him.

For all you early risers, it will be available to watch and stream live at 9:50am Central Time here: http://www.moodychurch.org/watch-online/

Or if you're local, just stop by The Moody Church, but if you're late, you'll probably miss it since it is the first item in the order of service.

Have a happy New Year!

“Worthy are you, our Lord and God, to receive glory and honor and power, for you created all things, and by your will they existed and were created.” (Revelation 4:11)

Celebrating Jesus' Birthday

2011-12-24T15:53:00.004-06:00

Ari and the family are exited to celebrate Jesus' birthday tomorrow!
With much love from our family to yours! Merry Christ-mas!

Vincent, Lark, & Ari

Our 2011 Christmas Card

"We love because he first loved us."
1 John 4:19

2 Years Down, An Eternity To Go!

2011-09-16T19:12:00.003-05:00

Black Mission Fig next to the Blue Star Juniper

Unfortunately we'll be running out of room very quickly on our downtown sized balcony here in Chicago, as the years go by, remembering our firstborn Asher. We hope the Lord comes sooner than later to rapture us out of this broken world for our long awaited reunion. If not, I think we'll be forced to move out of our little condo to a place with a backyard. No, not the suburbs!

So have you ever wondered what it would be like to live in a place where there is no evil or sin or sickness or death? Where everything (and everyone) is perfect, in peace, and in harmony so we can enjoy the purity of God's creation? Well join the club, because we're all dying to know ;)
The sad thing is that many are going to miss the mark and won't have a ticket to enter. Rest assured though, reservations for Heaven are not yet sold out! Here's how you can get one!

Our tickets are PAID in FULL already, so while we anxiously wait, we'll be sure to make the most of it and enjoy our family and time here on earth!

Ari - 4 months

"And he carried me away in the Spirit to a great, high mountain, and showed me the holy city Jerusalem coming down out of heaven from God, having the glory of God, its radiance like a most rare jewel, like a jasper, clear as crystal."

Revelation 21:10-11

Remembering Asher's Second Birthday

2011-08-02T11:24:00.003-05:00

This photo of Lark and Ari was taken a few days ago at Children's Memorial Hospital next to Asher's name on the Gifts of Love plaque.

Today is Asher's second birthday! Boy how time sure flies! This afternoon, we'll be spending time as a family together, enjoying each others company, remembering all the joy that Asher brought to our lives! We hope to never forget how precious our time is with each other in this world and into eternity!

"— yet you do not know what tomorrow will bring. What is your life? For you are a mist that appears for a little time and then vanishes."
James 4:14

Is This a Dream?

2011-06-21T15:05:00.005-05:00

Ari seems to be growing at about 1 ounce per day! On June 10th, he weighed in at 8 lb 1 oz and 20.25" long! He has outgrown his preemie size outfits and the newborn size onesies are starting to get a little more snug. I bet he is probably close to 9 pounds today!

I'm sure you're all wondering how it's actually going after 6 1/2 weeks of parenting practice, right? Well, truthfully, it is definitely a challenge, especially if you're trying to prioritize the Lord first, followed by your marriage, then your children. I can't even begin to imagine being able to manage it all if the priorities are not in that exact order, like a trifecta; or if you don't share the same priorities with your wife... two people with different goals, what a potential disaster! Of course in reality, we have our tough days, but all in all we are having a great time with this new stage in our life!

We're so fortunate to have Ari in our lives! Truly a blessing from God! This picture is our first family photo, although not the best, taken on Father's Day! Thank you for your continued support, encouragement, and prayers! We need all the help we can get!

Thus says the LORD:
“Cursed is the man who trusts in man and makes flesh his strength, whose heart turns away from the LORD."
The LORD is my strength and my shield; in him my heart trusts, and I am helped; my heart exults, and with my song I give thanks to him.

(Jeremiah 17:5, Psalm 28:7)

Instructions for E-mail Notifications

2011-06-07T15:25:00.002-05:00

If you want to get automatic e-mail notifications for new blog postings, please subscribe to the Google Group I created.
http://groups.google.com/group/bearramirez
An automated e-mail to the group will go out from there as soon there is a new blog post.

King of the Jungle

2011-06-06T16:17:00.014-05:00

Many of you have wondered what the origin of Ari's name is. Well for the record, Ari is the Hebrew word that means "lion",

ארי
In Armenian, it means "fearless" or "brave".
In Icelandic/Norse, it means "fast flying one".
In Hindi, it means "not of sin" (I don't buy this one since there was only One who was sinless!)

The name Jeremiah, in Hebrew spelled יִרְמְיָה , comes from the Old Testament prophet , also known as "the weeping prophet". He lived in troubled times, c. 655 BC, and Israel's rejection of God broke his heart. Convicted and compassionate about Israel, he often wept because or their sins. Read his accounts here: Jeremiah, 1 Kings, 2 Kings, Lamentations
In Greek, Ἰερεμίας, Jeremiah means "Yahweh exalts".

Some of you know of you know of a man named Arie Luyendyk (yes his parents for some reason needed to add an E at the end) who is a 2 time Indy 500 Car champion, so perhaps our little guy may be persuaded to pursue a career in motorsports racing? Or perhaps he may follow a more artistic route, like Ari Hest, a singer-songwriter from the Bronx? How about a professional mountain biker for Team Ari Cycles? Or will he prophesy the Gospel of Jesus Christ? As, parents, we wish for all of the above if not more, right? Only God knows, but whatever he ends up doing, we know it'll be great and we hope it is all for God's glory!

Ari at 2 days old!

Ari at 7 days old!

Ari at 10 days old!

13 days old!

Ari at 28 days old!

Today Ari is 31 days old, and growing fast like a weed! He's growing so fast that he's moved up to newborn size diapers and his preemie outfits are getting a litte tight on his body! Last week he was already 7 1/2 pounds and 20 inches long! He has a 1 month follow up at the pediatrician's this coming Friday, so we'll get a current measurement then!

Thank you for all of your continued prayers through these past years!

"For I know the plans I have for you, declares the LORD, plans for welfare and not for evil, to give you a future and a hope."
Jeremiah 29:11

The Little Prince Has Arrived!

2011-05-14T12:36:00.007-05:00

For those who have not heard, the Little Prince Ari Jeremiah Ramirez, arrived four weeks ahead of schedule on May 7th, 2011. He came into this world at 6 pounds 0 ounces and 19.25".

Everyone is doing well, including dad!

Some photos can be seen at:
http://www.bellababyphotography.com/login
Password: nwas0507ramirez
The site will close on Friday 6/10/2011

One a sad note, our faithful companion Ripley passed away on 5/12/11, a few weeks shy of her 12th birthday. We're thankful that she was able to meet Prince Ari and we're thankful for the many years of joy she brought to our lives.

More updates as mom and dad have time to blog :)

"The Lord gave, and the Lord has taken away; blessed be the name of the Lord."
Job 1:21b

Getting Bigger Every Day!

2011-04-15T15:45:00.005-05:00

Pictures of our boy at 30 weeks 4 days. 3 pounds 10 ounces, 58th percentile. The doctor said that it is good to be average now but after he's born, he's welcome to be above average. He is getting larger and larger every day and we're also more thankful every day! Just look at how he has developed from the last posting which is at 28 weeks 4 days! What a miracle! By the way, the object by his face is his arm.
Tomorrow, Saturday, we will be 33 weeks along, about the size of a pineapple! Still praying for full term, but if God wills it, he will be welcomed!
Thanks for continuing to pray for our family!

"Peace I leave with you; my peace I give to you. Not as the world gives do I give to you. Let not your hearts be troubled, neither let them be afraid."

John 14:27

Answers To Prayer

2011-03-16T16:24:00.005-05:00

"Count it all joy, my brothers when you meet trials of various kinds, for you know that the testing of your faith produces steadfastness. And let steadfastness have its full effect that you may be perfect and complete, lacking in nothing.
Every good gift and every perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of lights with whom there is no variation or shadow due to change."
James 1:1-4,17

To many, this will probably be new news, and to some, it will be a confirmation of things yet to come. To those who have not heard, we will be expecting a boy to arrive in this world in the vicinity of June 3rd, 2011. If you do the math, we will be 29 weeks along this coming Saturday. This is an absolute answer to prayer as we are farther along than we have ever been in the past. Asher was born at 25 1/2 weeks, so much of the anxiety has passed concerning this pregnancy. We currently see the doctors weekly for routine check-ups. Fortunately for me, Lark is the only one that gets the weekly progesterone injection which is supposed to reduce pre-term labor by approximately 30%. At the end of the day, we know that we can only do so much and the doctors can only do so much. The rest is up to God!

Here are some photos of our boy taken yesterday (28 weeks 4 days). Currently he weighs in at 2 pounds 14 ounces.... just right!

If you would, please keep us in your prayers and continue to intercede for us! We know there are many around the world that are holding up this baby (and us) in prayer! We can't help but to give praise to Him, the creator of all things, who has blessed us with this child! He loved us so much, that He sent His only Son to die on our behalf, and promised that whoever believes in His name, will not perish but have eternal life!

Do you know where you're spending your eternity?

O Death, Where Is Your Sting!

2010-10-19T14:57:00.005-05:00

David Crowder Band - SMS [Shine] (click on link for video)

Send me a sign
A hint, O whisper
Fill me with life
'Cause I am listening

Come break the quiet
Breathe your awakening
Bring me the light
'Cause I am fading

Surround me with the rush of angels' wings

Shine Your light so I can see You
Pull me up, I need to be near You
Hold me, I need to feel loved
Can You overcome this heart that's overcome?

You sent a sign
The hint, O whisper
Human, divine
Everyone is listening

Death laid low
Quiet in the night is stirring

All around the rush of angels

O the wonder of the greatest love has come

Shine Your light so all can see it
Lifted up, 'cause the whole world needs it
Love has come, what joy to hear it
He has overcome, He has overcome

When the perishable puts on the imperishable, and the mortal puts on immortality, then shall come to pass the saying that is written:

“Death is swallowed up in victory.”
“O death, where is your victory?
O death, where is your sting?”

The sting of death is sin, and the power of sin is the law. But thanks be to God, who gives us the victory through our Lord Jesus Christ.
(1 Corinthians 15:54-57)

Bunny, Our Loved Frenchie

2010-08-27T19:53:00.012-05:00

Bunny passed away unexpectedly tonight at the animal hospital. She was 5 years old and loved by many. They believe she may have had Addison's disease, known as the silent killer disease.
She will be buried tomorrow at the Rains' pet cemetery.

Remembering Asher

2010-08-03T14:35:00.003-05:00

Yesterday was Asher's 1st birthday! We can't believe time has flown so quickly!
As a remembrance, we will be planting a different tree yearly on his birthday. This year we planted a black mission fig that is originally from Spain, brought over to the U.S. by Spanish missionaries. More than you want to know information about figs here. Unfortunately we will have to keep the fig tree in a pot on our balcony until we relocate to a home with a yard. I'm sure we'll be forced to move somewhat soon as our garden balcony fills up!
We spent our evening with a special treat from our friends, the Claver family, who cooked a fantastic 3 course meal, surrounding a fig theme, at our home. It was truly a celebration, a blessing and an encouragement to us! The company and the meal was a God send!
Asher's life was a blessing and a gift from God! He taught us love in a big way!
We're so glad that our children are in good hands and we're looking forward to our future reunion with them! Our hope is that you will be there as well!
Thank you all again for being a part of our lives!

"Who is the liar but he who denies that Jesus is the Christ? This is the antichrist, he who denies the Father and the Son. No one who denies the Son has the Father. Whoever confesses the Son has the Father also. Let what you heard from the beginning abide in you. If what you heard from the beginning abides in you, then you too will abide in the Son and in the Father. And this is the promise that he made to us—eternal life."
(1 John 2:22-25)

In Remembrance Of

2010-06-03T12:19:00.006-05:00

Last month Children's Memorial Hospital hosted a candlelight memorial service to remember all the children that passed away in 2009. It was a somber and rainy day, but it was soon followed by God's glory radiating through the stained glass windows of the church.

The butterfly is gift from CMH to remind us of the lives of our children, Asher and Noble, who are living in paradise with the Lord Jesus.

Right after the memorial service there was a plaque dedication called "Gifts of Love" which commemorates the money that goes to Children's Memorial Hospital in memory of a loved one that has died. Thanks to you all, CMH, who is dedicated to the health and well-being of all children, can continue to what they do best!

If you have lost a child(ren), rest assured that they all are safe in the arms of Jesus!

Jesus said, "Let the children come to me and do not hinder them, for such belongs the kingdom of heaven." Matthew 19:14

If you already have a personal relationship with Jesus, then your reunion with your loved one is inevitable in due time. If you don't, you have no assurance of the promises that Jesus has for those that believe in him. Sadly for you there will be no reunion with your child or loved one.

Jesus said, "Truly, I say to you, unless you turn and become like children, you will never enter the kingdom of heaven." Matthew 18:3

But to all who did receive him, who believed in his name, he gave the right to be called children of God. John 1:12

Remember your child is with the Lord for a divine reason, unexplainable to you and me, and there is nothing that you could have done that would have changed that. Not the best doctor, not the healthy diet you wished you had, and not by having more faith. Your child may not be with you right now but your child is living in glory with God, free from the sufferings of this world!

Some books that I highly recommend reading to help give you assurance that your child is with the Lord:

"Safe in the Arms of Jesus" by Robert Lightner

"Safe in the Arms of God" by John MacArthur

Another Day In Paradise

2010-03-03T16:49:00.010-06:00

So these are the only photos we have of our second baby who is now in Heaven, taken at about 8 weeks 1 day old. Last night we were at the emergency room after some pregnancy complications and after several ultrasounds, they were unable to find the heartbeat at 12 weeks. The doctors had determined by the size of the fetus that it had died a few days after the ultrasound above. Apparently Lark's body was in process of "cleaning out" her system, which the symptoms prompted our hospital visit. We were discharged after a long stay at the hospital, but Lark continued with a painful miscarriage at home. Today Lark is doing much better, getting her due rest. We grieve the loss of this child, but we praise God for His gift! We are exited that Asher is now with his sibling in the hands of the LORD. We are not sure of the sex, but we'll have a name soon. God is good and He knows what is best for all of us! We can't comprehend what the bigger picture is, or what the purpose of this is, so we just trust in Him as He asks us!

We can't wait to join them in Heaven... another day in Paradise for them both!

"Even before a word is on my tongue, behold, O LORD, you know it altogether. You hem me in, behind and before, and lay your hand upon me. Such knowledge is too wonderful for me; it is high; I cannot attain it."
Psalm 139: 4-6

What Is Christmas Without CHRIST?

2009-12-25T03:44:00.006-06:00

Have we forgotten what Christmas is really all about?

It is a day that we celebrate the birth of the Lord Jesus Christ, the Savior who was sent to free the world from our own sin and rebellion;

The birth of the One who loved us before the foundation of the world

The birth of the One who shed His blood and died for us

The birth of the One whom grants us eternal life

... but ONLY if we personally put our trust and faith in Him!

and it is said that once our time is up on this Earth, that we will not be angels or like angels, but because we are co-heirs to His Kingdom, instead, we will become like Christ, perfect and sinless, and have everlasting life; and we will be exalted above angels. (Eph 3:10, 1Cor 6:3)

... but ONLY if we personally put our trust and faith in Him!

So do you have that assurance?

Or is Christmas just a "holiday" about getting stuff? Stuff that moth and rust destroy or stuff that thieves can steal? Take a moment today to think about Christ in CHRISTmas.

Merry Christmas to you and your family!

"For to us a child is born, to us a son is given; and the government shall be upon his shoulder, and his name shall be called Wonderful Counselor, Mighty God, Everlasting Father, Prince of Peace."
Isaiah 9:6

Turning It Around for Good - James MacDonald

2009-12-07T12:18:00.003-06:00

In the midst of all the pain that people suffer through (loss of a loved one, marital problems, unemployment/financial hardship, etc) today, we can be confident that we are IN Christ and He is IN us and we can find strength and comfort IN Him;

but only if we personally believe in Him, who is our Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ.

-Vincent

"So to keep me from becoming conceited because of the surpassing greatness of the revelations, a thorn was given me in the flesh, a messenger of Satan to harass me, to keep me from becoming conceited. Three times I pleaded with the Lord about this, that it should leave me. But he said to me, "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness."

2 Corinthians 12:7-9

With all due respect to Rabbi Kushner, God does allow bad things to happen to good people. He doesn't cause them, but He doesn't prevent them either. The world is free and God doesn't very often step in and alter the fact that the effects of sin are visiting themselves randomly upon the creation. So God lets trials happen to the Christian just like He lets them happen to the pagans so that the superiority of the life lived in God can be demonstrated through our lives. The majority of the world is choosing not to worship God, but a few of us, by God's grace, can draw down upon God's promised resources to get us through.
God did not cause the horrible events in your life, but you need to embrace the fact that He allowed them. God could not make a world in which we are free and at the same time guarantee that everyone would choose Him. So the world is broken and bad things happen. But God promises that He will be with those who love Him. He will bring us through the fire, and we will come forth as gold.
God allowed Paul to suffer a "thorn . . . in the flesh." Paul said that God allowed "a messenger of Satan to harass me, to keep me from becoming conceited" (2 Corinthians 12:7). Paul understood that God allowed this pain in his life for a reason. God allowed a demon to harass, or buffet Paul. The word buffet means to strike with a fist or beat. But God permitted it with a purpose: to keep [Paul] from being conceited.
God is so sovereign. He's so much in control that even when Satan tries to ruin our lives, God takes the weapon that Satan wants to use to destroy us and turns it into a good thing. God says, "If you will lean hard on Me in the midst of this difficult time, I’ll take that thorn and make it for your good."
We all have a thorn. We all have something that God has allowed into our lives that Satan meant for our destruction but that God has turned around to help us grow and change.

-James MacDonald

Let Us Give Thanks!

2009-11-25T14:00:00.005-06:00

So it's been quite some time now it feels since Asher left this world to be with the Lord, but thinking twice, it's only been about 10 weeks but it feels like an eternity. The memories are sweet and yet the pain still linger at times. I suppose it will always be there, which reminds us of our humanity and that we are not desensitized to emotions or pain. It's been difficult to take moments lately to share our thoughts on the blog as we've been trying to just catch back up to life... the 'new' normal. The last several weeks have been trying emotionally as we've seen several deaths pass by. Some close, some not so close, but still close enough to grieve and to share the experience of the loss with the families. How temporal our lives are here, so delicate, and yet in an instant, it can be taken away. I keep thinking how incredible Heaven will be to finally reunite with Asher and all those that have fully placed their trust and faith in the Lord Jesus!

But the Lord just doesn't taketh, but he giveth also! Our good friends in Portland celebrated the birth of their firstborn, Eve, on 11/15/09. An accident? I don't think that word is in God's vocabulary, but it is just part of his infinite perfection and plan for us. Children are such a life changing gift and miracle! Who would have known ahead of time that they would have such a dramatic effect on us?

I thought I would just take some time to recognize that tomorrow, many families will be getting together to celebrate Thanksgiving Day and to thank God for so many things He has blessed us with. I too am thankful for so many things, but primarily I'm thankful for my salvation and hope that I have through faith in Jesus Christ. Secondly I am thankful for my wife and son, and because of that hope, we have assurance that even as our lives will eventually pass away, we will spend eternity and have everlasting life together in Heaven! Thirdly, we are thankful for YOU! For supporting us, encouraging us, and walking with us through life!

Can I ask that you continue to be an encouragement to us and drop us a note periodically?

So what are YOU thankful for? Would you let us know or share it with someone you love?

"Rejoice in the Lord always; again I will say Rejoice. Let your reasonableness be known to everyone. The Lord is at hand; do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus."

Philippians 4:4-7

Homesick

2009-10-06T11:45:00.004-05:00

You’re in a better place, I’ve heard a thousand times

And at least a thousand times I’ve rejoiced for you

But the reason why I’m broken the reason why I cry

Is how long must I wait to be with you

I close my eyes and I see your face

If home’s where my heart is then I’m out of place

Lord won’t you give me strength to make it through somehow
I‘ve never been more homesick than now

Help me Lord because I don’t understand Your ways

The reason why I wonder if I’ll ever know

But even if You showed me the hurt would be the sameBecause I’m still here so far away from home

-Chorus-

In Christ there are no goodbyes

In Christ there is no end

So I’ll hold onto Jesus with all that I have

To see you again

-Chorus-

Homesick-Mercy Me

This song was played at Asher's Memorial Service and is a reminder to us that 'In Christ there are no goodbyes' and that we need to 'hold on to Jesus' to see him again!

Though we can't see or touch him, we will never forget that we have a son in Heaven! But we are homesick and anxious for our glorious reunion!

"So we are always of good courage. We know that while we are at home in the body we are away from the Lord, for we walk by faith, not by sight. Yes, we are of good courage, and we would rather be away from the body and at home with the Lord."

2 Corinthians 5:6-8

Overwhelmed By Love

2009-09-27T23:40:00.007-05:00

Thank you so much for all those who attended Asher's Memorial Service yesterday to celebrate the life of our little boy! We know many of you have travelled from other states, cities, and neighborhoods and we want to sincerely thank you for your friendship and support during this unexpected time. Honestly, we weren't sure how many would actually be able to make it, but our friend Lori predicted that it would be standing room only, and standing room only it was! What a wonderful testimony of how impactful this little child's life was! The loss of Asher is only bearable because we know that he is resting in Jesus’ loving arms. Instead of being overcome with grief during this time we choose instead to rest in the assurance we have, that he simply beat us to Heaven….and we will see him soon!

If you were not able to attend the Memorial Service and would like an audio CD or video DVD, please send us an e-mail at vjramire@yahoo.com and we'll gladly send you a copy...

Some comments from attendees:

"I've never been to a service like this before!"

"It was very inspiring!"

"It was a wonderful service!"

"The photographs were priceless!"

"Thank you for allowing us to be part of your life!"

...and many more!

So if you attended, what was the most memorable part of the service?

Did you become like a child and place your faith and trust in Jesus? If so, would you let us know and drop us a personal message via e-mail? We'd love to help you grow in your new faith!

If you are still unsure and/or still have questions about the free gift and assurance of our Savior, please do let us know as well so we can help answer your questions! We hope to hear from you soon!

In Christ,

Papa & Mama Bear

In Memory Of Asher

2009-09-18T16:20:00.003-05:00

Please join us for a memorial service to celebrate the life of our little warrior Bear, formally known as Asher Samuel Ramirez on Saturday, September 26th, 1:15pm at :

The Moody Church

1635 N. LaSalle Street

Chicago, IL 60614

Room 307 CLC

Limited parking is available at Moody Church/Walgreen lot on the northwest corner of North Avenue and LaSalle Street. Additional street parking available.

Everyone is invited and children are welcome! Light refreshments and drinks will be served.

In lieu of flowers or gifts, the family will be making contributions to The Moody Church and Children's Memorial Hospital.

Glory Baby

2009-09-16T19:24:00.015-05:00

Glory baby you slipped away as fast as we could say baby…baby..

You were growing, what happened dear?

You disappeared on us baby…baby..

Heaven will hold you before we do

Heaven will keep you safe until we’re home with you…

Until we’re home with you…

Miss you everyday
Miss you in every way

But we know there’s a day when we will hold you

We will hold you

You’ll kiss our tears away

When we’re home to stay

Can’t wait for the day when we will see you

We will see you

But baby let sweet

Jesus hold you‘till mom and dad can hold you…

You’ll just have Heaven before we do

Sweet little babies, it’s hard to understand it ‘cause we’re hurting

We are hurting

But there is healing

And we know we’re stronger people through the growing

And in knowing-

That all things work together for our good

And God works His purposes just like He said He would…

Just like He said He would…

BRIDGE:

I can’t imagine Heaven’s lullabies and what they must sound like

But I will rest in knowing, Heaven is your home

And it’s all you’ll ever know…all you’ll ever know…

-Watermark

Asher Samuel is with Jesus now. He left us here at 12:15pm today to spend his eternity with our Lord. Details on a memorial service to come.

Would you like to see Asher again? Well there's only one way to see him in Heaven. Make sure you know Jesus, because it's only in Him that we find hope.
You ask, "Why do I need Him?"

Click here to find out and begin your journey!

Asher can't wait to meet you!

Still Holding On, But For How Long?

2009-09-15T13:37:00.008-05:00

The doctors didn't think Asher would make it last Wednesday and now its Tuesday of the following week and he's still holding on, but for how long? The doctors admit that they are not very good at predicting things and one of them commented, "He is one strong little man!" And one of his nurses commented that "He is definitely not textbook!"

Though Asher is still with us, his health is deteriorating very quickly. His body is very edematous with one lung collapsed, the other filled with fluid. He also suffered from several bleeding episodes yesterday which had problems clotting. He has been on stronger doses of pain medications, so we pray that our boy is not in suffering too much while he is still with us.

We've spent time holding him in his nest until that time comes. Please pray that the Lord continues to comfort us all.

He Keeps Going and Going and Going...

2009-09-13T20:58:00.003-05:00

We are blessed to have him another day! Apparently it's not yet the Lord's will for Asher to join Him, so we'll just keep embracing His love!
Lark told Asher this afternoon, " It's OK. You should go be with Jesus now. He will take care of you until we get there. Once you get there you will have a perfect body that is not broken. Once your daddy and I get there we will give you a big hug- since we could not do that while you were here with us!"
Thank you for the multitude of prayers! It has kept our little Bear here with us just a little longer!

Dunkin' Munchkins

2009-09-12T12:40:00.011-05:00

As Asher's terminal state progresses further, I have been asked by some, "Why don't you go and baptize him?" The assumption, is that through the act of baptism, you earn your salvation and become a child of God and your eternal destiny is with Him in Heaven. I take the question as nothing but an act of love and concern for our child, but I will disagree with that theology. Formerly raised as a Roman Catholic, I know that infant baptism is an integral teaching in their doctrines and as a church tradition. It is also practiced in Eastern Orthodox, Anglican, Lutheran and Mainline Protestant denominations. But where does it say in Scripture, the Word of God, that the act of baptism gives you salvation? Some may argue that it says so in Mark 16:16, but read it closely and in context and harmonize it with the rest of Scripture and you find that it's believing in a personal way in Jesus, and not of any good deeds/works/acts, that allows you to receive that gift of salvation; Ephesian 2:8-9 Sola fide. Refer also to my August blog post The Journey Through Our Faith. Were you baptized a child? Do you think you're going to Heaven solely because your parents baptized you when you were younger? Think again, but that's between you and God; John 1:12. That is why I believe that baptism is a choice that one makes when one makes the decision to place their trust in Jesus.

For a fairly exhaustive discussion of infant baptism, read here.

So back to Asher. He's not baptized and he can't make a conscious decision to place his trust in Jesus and believe on His name. Is he going to be in Heaven when he passes away? I believe so as Scripture clearly teaches. As King David mourned when his child with Bathsheba died, and he said in joy, "Can I bring him back again? I shall go to him, but he will not return to me.” (2 Samuel 12:15-23) Referring to the reunion with his child in Heaven.

For a more thorough explanation and for the Bible student, refer here.

Please continue to pray for our son through what may be his last days, hours, minutes, or seconds.

The Tipping Point

2009-09-11T20:45:00.002-05:00

Today was another tough day for our little Bear. He continues to not have any urine output even after being on the most aggressive diuretic drugs that are available so it appears that his kidneys have shut down. Because of this, he is still retaining a significant amount of fluids and his entire body is suffering from edema. As the edema worsens, blood flow and oxygenation to the rest of his body will decrease. His lungs have increased fluid buildup which is making his breathing and oxygenation more and more difficult. As shocked as the doctors are that he has survived for so long, they feel that once he has reached the tipping point, he will quickly pass. It is truly a miracle that he continues to be with us here, but we are prepared for him to be with our loving Father in Heaven when it is time. Of course we still pray that things will miraculously turn around, but if not, pray that little Bear will be able to pass without much pain. Will you pray with us?

Holding It In

2009-09-10T21:40:00.003-05:00

Asher is still in very critical condition. Blood cultures show no signs of infections present, but he remains in an acidosis state. Today his entire body was completely bloated since his kidneys are not producing any urine to excrete and he is retaining all the fluids that he has been receiving for nourishment. He has about 0.3kilos or 0.75lb in fluid build-up alone! Reduced or the lack of kidney function is possibly a symptom of acidosis. It has been about a day and a half since his last wet diaper and the doctors are very concerned that his potassium levels are increasing to a dangerous level which could cause cardiac arrest. Please pray for his kidneys to start functioning properly so that he can recover from his fluid buildup.
Though we don't fully understand why we go through trials like this, we constantly thank and praise our loving God for our boy, and for the change he has brought in our lives!

Critical Again

2009-09-09T11:25:00.003-05:00

This morning we received calls from the NICU doctor to come in ASAP. It seems as his PCVC line had gone bad, leaked and caused fluid build-up behind his lungs and neck. They were able to drain substantial amount of fluids, but due to this, his blood was very acidic for several hours in the low ph 6.8 when it should be around ph 7.4. This also adds additional strain on his heart, so hopefully he can get back to normal very soon. The doctors also feel that he may also have an infection so they are treating him with anti-biotics while they wait for the culture results. He needs to recover quickly or else the effects of the acidosis can be fatal.
Asher is in stable, but very critical condition so please continue to pray for him.

Week 5

2009-09-08T23:56:00.006-05:00

The days and weeks are passing quickly for the Ramirez family! Hopefully every one's weekend was as relaxing as Asher's! He mostly slept through the days, except for the routine, every 6 hour, nurse's pampering. Well, I guess it's called pampering, but I'm pretty sure he wasn't too fond of the suppositories he was getting to try and stimulate bowel movements. So no real poop yet, just a few mucoid smears. The surgeon looked at his x-rays today and feels that there is no blockage in his intestines, so they'll continue his feeds and continue to monitor his belly size. That means no surgery... at least for now. Yesterday Asher was fully weened off from his nitric oxide supplement in his ventilator, but since then, he's been desatting more frequently. I think he's just tired of it, but the doctors just said, "tough luck buddy, you're staying on it for now!" Upon closer examination, they noticed that his right lung was partially deflated again, which also happened the other week, so they are going to readjust his ET tube and increase the air pressures to keep that lung inflated. They are also going to give him some antibiotics as a precautionary measure because there is a slight chance that he may have pneumonia, which can have similar symptoms. They'll confirm it with a blood culture tonight. With regards to his IVH they continue with his 2x/week head ultrasounds. He continues to have the hydrocephalus and is now exhibiting encephalomalacia (cerebral softening). Still no surgical intervention to relieve the hydrocepehalus since the pressure isn't the issue. If it were, the fontanelles http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Fontanelles would be very tight and firm, but it looks as if the brain matter is thinning/softening, which is not so good news to us.

I guess a part of us has been somewhat desensitized by all the terrible news the doctors relay to us, but we'll continue to be faithful with God's plan for Asher.

Thank you for your continued prayers!

Rest & Relaxation

2009-09-04T17:01:00.003-05:00

Asher continues to grow and now weighs over 1kilo! 1.05kg to be exact which is 2lb 5oz. He has had some small bowel secretions from the feedings and the doctors feel that it would be better for him to have a continuous 1cc/hr breast milk feed. I never knew that I would would pray for poop, but please pray for that and for a continued healing in his body! Please also pray for a quiet and uneventful weekend for Asher as he rests!

Happy Birthday Asher!

2009-09-03T12:46:00.004-05:00

That's happy ONE month + 1day birthday! And many more to come!

A Little Too Exited

2009-09-01T17:26:00.006-05:00

I guess little Bear got too exited about pulling out his ET tube the other night because this morning his blood gases were not so hot. They tried to do a CPAP http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Positive_airway_pressure on him first, but his blood gases continued to go the wrong direction. CO2 levels were high and he had a low 7.05ph. Along with a couple bradys, the doctors decided to re-intubate him again. The doctors thought perhaps he may have had some seizures overnight, so they want to make sure he's properly ventilated. They had to go one size smaller on the ET tube initially since they couldn't get his normal size in, but it ended up being a futile effort since the tube was too small to provide the proper ventilator rates and ended up getting clogged in the end which didn't help. Later in the day, they were able to get the correct size ET tube in and now he's just sitting pretty again. They did a EEG http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Electroencephalography on his brain to see if he was seizing and results were negative after 1hr of observation. They had contemplated on whether or not they would start him on phenobarbital (anti-seizure med), but since his EEG was good, they are not going to start him on that drug. He just had an ultrasound on his liver since his billiruben levels were high. We'll get the results tomorrow on this test. Typically as they start feeding, the billiruben levels are controlled, but since he hasn't had too many real successful feeds they are thinking that it may be ok. He did get a real feed at 4pm today and will continue to monitor him.

The docs are telling the little Bear to take his time, but he takes after mom and dad and doesn't want to waste any time. Perhaps we'll all have to wait a little longer. Please pray for patience and perseverance.

Look Mom, Look Dad... No Ventilator!

2009-08-31T22:02:00.006-05:00

Of course it was another act of God! A surprising miracle since he was not supposed to be extubated http://www.yourdictionary.com/extubate from his ventilator for a while still. They have kept a close eye on him since re-intubating http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Intubate him would be very traumatic and would only be done if it was absolutely necessary. So since he's breathing on his own, the doctors decided to just give him a little oxygen support with the nasal cannula http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Nasal_cannula seen on Asher above. Much less invasive than the endotracheal (ET) tube http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Endotracheal_tube. This happened last night after he was kangarooing with mom. Right before he was ready to go back to his isolette, he started to desaturate on his oxygen. Apparently he just had too much goober in his mouth that it had gotten on the adhesive tape that held his breathing tube secure. He ended up self extubating himself off the endotracheal tube and hence the ventilator! They continue to monitor his blood gases to make sure he is not working too hard, but as you can see, he is earning his name, Bear, one day at a time! There still is a possibility that they may re-intubate him again if he starts to get tired, so lets pray that he continues to stay strong!

Footprints

2009-08-30T23:01:00.005-05:00

(Dad rubbing lotion on Asher's little feet)

Footprints in the Sand

One night I dreamed I was walking along the beach with the Lord.
Many scenes from my life flashed across the sky.
In each scene I noticed footprints in the sand.
Sometimes there were two sets of footprints,
other times there were one set of footprints.

This bothered me because I noticed
that during the low periods of my life,
when I was suffering from
anguish, sorrow or defeat,
I could see only one set of footprints.

So I said to the Lord,
"You promised me Lord,
that if I followed you,
you would walk with me always.
But I have noticed that during
the most trying periods of my life
there have only been one
set of footprints in the sand.
Why, when I needed you most,
you have not been there for me?"

The Lord replied,
"The times when you have
seen only one set of footprints in the sand,
is when I carried you."

Mary Stevenson

God, The Ultimate Reality

2009-08-29T21:41:00.009-05:00

Many of you have been wondering and/or concerned since we haven't had a new blog post for a couple days. Well, the truth of the matter is that there hasn't been a lot of changes with Asher significant enough to post. He didn't take the feedings very well, and they have been draining some green stomach bile fluid from him. With that said, they are going to hold off a couple more days until they feed him again. The stomach fluids should be more clear color and the green is an indicator that his bowels are still healing from his earlier NEC infection. It will take time and God's healing hands before Asher will be able to hold down the breast milk.

Please continue to faithfully pray for us through what seems to be hopeless at times. But we do remember that we can only find true hope through Jesus. Jesus said, "I am the way, and the truth, and the life, no one comes to the Father except through me." (John 14:6) In John's Gospel, John presents Jesus as the eternal, preexistent, now incarnate Word and as the one-of-a-kind Son of the Father who is himself God. "In the beginning was the Word, and the Word was with God, and the Word was God." (John 1:1) Here is the Greek exegesis on the correct English translation 'the Word [Jesus] was God' found in most Bibles, versus the incorrect translation 'the Word [Jesus] was a god.'

In the beginning, God created the heavens and the earth. (Genesis 1:1) He is bigger than anything you can imagine, and before you and I came into existence, He had a plan for Asher!

Do you have the peace of God with you? He IS The Ultimate Reality!

Feed Me Seymore!

2009-08-27T23:29:00.004-05:00

Asher had a little hiccup this morning. His right lung partially collapsed, which caused him to brady http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bradycardia a couple times since he was on his one side too long, but he's back to normal now. They had to readjust him so that both lungs were getting the breaths. Thanks to our very attentive nurse Jen today for his care!
So they started him on 1 mL of breast milk today (his first feed) to see if he would be able to handle the food. It didn't go quite so well as he spit it back up. They will try again tomorrow, but they want to be careful and make sure his stomach and intestines can handle it.
They did a chest x-ray and noticed that there is moisture/fluid build up in the heart and lung area. They said it's normal in most preemies and that its not a worry right now, so we won't worry then. Lastly results from his head ultrasound this morning showed similar results from Monday. Still a grade IV PVL. They are concerned at the quantity and distribution of the cysts forming and are exploring the idea of a shunt to relieve some of the pressure in his head, but they are still waiting for him to get a little bigger. His developmental status due to his brain bleeds is still a mystery so please continue for God to work more miracles in him.

Mr. Wiggleworm and His Snoedel

2009-08-25T21:01:00.006-05:00

No, its not a ghost, its Asher's snoedel! http://www.snoedel.com/SnoedelStory.aspx It is supposed to help the baby bond to mom, by incorporating her scent, and it is left inside his isolette while he sleeps. Mom has been able to hold and 'kangaroo' Asher the last two nights and she just can't get enough of him so we're still here at the hospital as I type. I was telling the nurses that his nickname is Bear, not Joey... ...don't worry, it took them while to get it also ;)

Ok, if you still don't get it, "What do you call a baby kangaroo? ... A Joey!"

Asher is growing and is now 0.99kg = 2lb 3oz and 13.5". He continues to do well and the doctors are talking about starting his feeds soon! Perhaps that will ease the freezer issue we are beginning to have at home. The blood infection was a false positive a couple days due to contamination in the culture so he continues to be infection free. His urine cultures also continue to be negative for yeast, but they will continue to treat that for another 3-4 weeks. On the bad side, his head grew 1cm over the weekend and his doctors said that his bilateral cystic PVL is progressing.

Regardless of what the doctors say, we pray for a miracle every day and we thank you for your prayers!

The Great American Dream

2009-08-24T08:59:00.009-05:00

Have you ever heard the term "health, wealth, and happiness"? It sounds like if you have all three of these 'virtues' that life would certainly be a cake walk. To have no worries, to feel no pain, and to live life like a hedonist. Of course one could argue due to differences in our spiritual and philosophical perspectives, but I think as a Christian, we are called to a higher purpose than to be healthy, wealthy and happy; which I believe are our selfish desires. I believe that we are called to be His servant, to show His love and be honored to suffer for Him because of His sacrifice for us. I do think that if we are blessed with any of those virtues, that we need to appreciate it, use the gift wisely and praise Him for it!

But I do have a point, so let me be brief.

Wealth:

We are one of the wealthiest nations, but what do we do with it? Do we hoard it to ourselves or are we generous and cheerful givers? Do we truly help people out, or do we just feel obligated? Money in itself it not bad, but 'the love of money is the root of all kinds of evil'. A little or a lot, so what do you do with your money?

Health:

How precious it is and so many of us take it for granted! What about Asher? He surely is not in great health, nor will he probably be normal like you and I, but instead he will be fairly disabled as he grows, according to the doctors. I'm certain though that through his life, that many people have and will be impacted in positive ways that you nor I can explain! Look at Joni's story and the difference that she has made in many people's lives! http://www.joniandfriends.org/about_us.php

Happiness:

An emotion directly related to current circumstances we are experiencing. Happiness is temporal and doesn't last forever. On the other hand joy is completely different, where it is an attitude of the heart. When happiness fades, joy remains and joy brings us peace in the middle of the storm. Here are encouraging words from James MacDonald (btw, a much better writer than I) about protecting our joy: http://www.walkintheword.com/WeeklyWalk.aspx

So are we happy that Asher is in the hospital? Absolutely not, but we are joyful because of him!

Attending Physicians...The Bearer of Bad News

2009-08-21T22:49:00.002-05:00

Asher's blood cultures from yesterday showed that the bacteria infection had returned or had mutated so he received some extra doses of antibiotics today. On top of that, he continues to fight the fungus infection in his urinary system. Not that we had enough negative news, but his head ultrasound results also came out today. We just didn't think it got worse, but it just keeps coming. Well his IVH is officially grade 4. It may have actually been a grade 4 to begin with, but the neurologists were uncertain with the previous ultrasounds. On top of that, because of the IVH, they have diagnosed him to have a severe bilateral periventricular leukomalacia (PVL) http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Periventricular_leukomalacia which has a very high mortality/morbidity rate.
There's not much more I can say except that we turn to God for strength.

No Rest

2009-08-20T22:59:00.009-05:00

Well today was one of those busy days full of tests and procedures! Somewhat exiting, but also at the same time, nerve racking. They continue to monitor Asher's head circumference which seems to still be the same size and hasn't grown so they will be doing 2 head ultrasounds per week. The results from this morning's ultrasound had not come in by the time we left so we'll be anxious to see what the progression of the IVH is tomorrow morning. The blood cultures continue to be negative for bacteria and yeast. On the other hand, his urine culture was still positive for the yeast, although only a small trace, so they are still continuing to treat it with the anti-fungal medication. This afternoon he had his first eye exam by Dr. Yoon to see if his eyes have been invaded by the yeast and to our delight, none were found! It was a little scary to watch the exam since little Asher's eyes had to be held open by a metal clamp (for a lack of the technical name)... so mom left the room. I guess it wasn't too bad since the doctor was very gentle and had a caring nature about himself. Lastly, and probably the only procedure that could have had serious complications, was the addition of a new PCVC line in Asher's right arm. If you remember, the one on his left arm was taken out earlier in the week as a precaution because he had the yeast infection in the blood. Anyway, with the new line, they'll be able to keep him full of that wonderful Gatorade concoction which they use to get all the nutrients into him. It may be a couple more weeks until he will even begin to start feeding on breast milk. We seem to have a countless number of breast milk bottles since my patient wife has been pumping tirelessly day and night, every 3 hours. If you know her well, you'll know that she likes her sleep, so I thank her for her commitment to our son! Funny thing is that "our section" in the hospital freezer is full- so they sent us home today with a bag full of frozen milk containers and told us we're going to have to store them at home from now on. I'm actually cooking some food from our freezer at home as I write as a midnight snack to make some space. However, I'm sure the extra freezer space will be full again in a couple days. Here's the problem: the hospital has this program that gives breast feeding moms 3 free food vouchers a day, so we've been eating at there most of the time for cost and convenience purposes. Remember those days in school? You know the good old cafeteria days that never got old ;) ? I can't really complain though because it saves us time from making food at home, when we should probably just relax and recover a bit from the long stay at the hospital. It's all blessing from God and we're blessed to have all of you praying for us! We can't thank you enough! Asher gives his love to you all and especially to nurse Emily for taking care of him today!

Ahhh! My fries are ready!

No News Is Good News

2009-08-19T22:33:00.002-05:00

Quite an unexciting (relatively speaking) day for Asher with few needle pokes. He continues to do well with the reduced ventilator settings.
Tomorrow we'll know more from his yeast cultures which take longer to grow out than bacteria. So far today's and yesterday's cultures for yeast are negative. He'll also get his first eye exam by the ophthalmologist tomorrow to see (no pun intended) how they are developing and to see whether or not any yeast have decided to make a home there. Lastly, his head has not increased in circumference from the IVH!
Thanks for your continued prayers and support!

The War Against Yeast

2009-08-18T21:18:00.007-05:00

Hmmm, I guess I've been a little slow to update today's blog post as I've been getting text messages and phone calls... sorry! I actually had to do some work, see some clients and later in the day I had to get my siesta in at the hospital :)

So you ask how Asher is doing, right? Well, he had a very busy day full of tests to say the least. He had a head ultrasound, an echo cardiogram, and a renal ultrasound. His head ultrasound showed that the IVH blood was clotting and seems to be reabsorbing back into his body, but they are still very concerned since they are seeing little cysts (empty voids where brain matter should be) showing up in the scan. They will continue to monitor this with additional head ultrasounds. His heart echo showed that he still has a PDA, but they classified it as small. This is good news because it was originally classified as large, then medium now small after his third heart echo. Surgery is still needed to close this up completely, but they are waiting to make sure he is completely stable before they attempt this. His renal scan was not read today, but it should be by tomorrow morning. They are still concerned from the yeast infection that originated from the respiratory tube and if you remember, yeast love to stick to plastic. The yeast had spread to the blood the other day, but has been medicated by the anti-fungals- which he will stay on for a couple weeks. Because of this infection, they have taken out his main central PCVC line in his arm. This was done as a precaution since yeast can lay dormant there and potentially return after his medicine doses stop. Keeping the PCVC line in could cause and spread a central infection if the yeast was not completely destroyed so taking it out will prevent that scenario from happening. Again yeast also like to infect the kidneys and eyes so the renal exam will show any kidney infections and later this week he will be getting an eye exam. His vitals continue to do well. His blood gases are: ph 7.41, CO2 48, Hemoglobin 14, the best gas results he's ever had! He continues to be more active and his heart rate is great. He is starting to take breaths above the respirator and since his CO2 levels were great, they will try to ween him off of the respirator again by lowing the bpms. The quicker we get him off the respirator, the smaller the chance will be that he develops BPD (bronchopulmonary dysplasia).

Mom and dad are doing well! Grandma and Grandpa picked up our 2 pooches tonight to free up our time at home until things settle a little bit at the hospital.

We will continue to use this blog as my main source of communication of Asher's status so we apologize if we don't return your calls or texts. Thanks again for the continued support and prayers! We love you all!

Kangaroo Care

2009-08-17T20:05:00.003-05:00

Last night mom got to hold the little Bear for the first time for about an hour and a half! Priceless!

http://www.kangaroomothercare.com/index.htm

He is scheduled for another head ultrasound tomorrow so that the neurologist can make a recommendation for a spinal tap to drain some of the brain fluid that has been causing pressure on his little head. They continue to worry about the fungus that he had prior when he had his NEC infection. Labs show negative cultures since the meds were delivered, but they are concerned since fungus like to grown on plastic, that they may hide by the central IV (PCVC) line that he has in. They will also check his kidneys, liver, and eyes, as those are also primary targets for fungus.

Please continue to lift our boy in prayer!

No Visitors Allowed....Just Kidding

2009-08-17T10:14:00.002-05:00

Dear Friends and Family,

Asher is at Children's Memorial Hospital in the NICU (Neonatal Intensive Care Unit) and we are open to visitors, so please come see him!

2300 Children's Plaza (Fullerton and Lincoln Avenues in Lincoln Park)

Chicago, Illinois 60614

773.880.4000

We are NO LONGER at Northwestern's Prentice Women's Hospital.

Visiting hours are 10am-8:30pm. Parking is $4 validated and $5 if you valet.

Visitors are NOT ALLOWED when we are not here, so don't try to sneak in... and you know who you are, but we still love you! If we are not here, you will have to turn around, get thrown out by security, or wait until we arrive, so please call, text, or e-mail first.

Lovingly Yours,

Mom & Dad

Man vs God

2009-08-16T20:30:00.005-05:00

Day after day, the doctors have been giving us bad news about Asher's IVH. His head had grown 2 centimeters in two days! The third day, Saturday, the doctors say that he was not being very responsive. His numbers looked good, but he just wasn't responding to touch and was very lethargic. The doctor even asked us if we wanted to baptize him, but I respectfully declined. Of course her heart was in the right place, but I don't believe in infant baptism but I won't get into the theology here though (partial explanation in: 'The Journey Through Our Faith' posting). Saturday night rolls around and the nurse measures his head again to see if his head was still expanding from the IVH brain bleed and to God's glory, it had not made a change, but had stayed the same size! Of course Lark and I were ecstatic! So this morning we wanted to check in on him before we headed over to our Sunday church worship service. So we got there and the first thing we asked was if his head got larger, but only through supernatural intervention, his head was still the same size as the previous night! The soft part of the top of his head also felt softer and less tense than the previous day so it seems as if the pressure is decreasing also! What a miracle and an answer to our prayers! His heart rate seems to be back normal when he was not sick around the 150-160s bpm. His O2 saturation is doing well and he seems to be moving around more and not lethargic like the other day! And get this, he started to poop which means his NEC infection is healing! So all in all, Asher had a milestone of a day... and gave his parents a rest from an emotional roller coaster that we thought would be just a tad bit milder. I have always loved roller coasters in the past, and the bigger the better, but I don't remember waiting in line for this ride ;)

Don't miss tomorrow's posting... here's a preview: Mom & Asher... to be continued...

Comfort Food From Overseas

2009-08-15T11:39:00.011-05:00

Psalm 139:13-16

For you formed my inward parts; you knitted me together in my mother’s womb.

I praise you, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made.

Wonderful are your works; my soul knows it very well.

My frame was not hidden from you, when I was being made in secret, intricately woven in the depths of the earth.

Your eyes saw my unformed substance;

in your book were written, every one of them, the days that were formed for me, when as yet there was none of them.

John 9:1-3

Jesus Heals a Man Born Blind

As he passed by, he saw a man blind from birth. And his disciples asked him, "Rabbi, who sinned this man or his parents, that he was born blind?" Jesus answered, "It was not that this man sinned, or his parents, but that the works of God might be displayed in him.

3rd Grade

2009-08-14T18:13:00.004-05:00

The results of the head ultrasound came back and the IVH has progressed more. Its still considered a grade 3 bleed, but it not only affects one ventricle, but both ventricles. His head continues to swell and grow in circumference. For a baby this small, there is nothing they can do to stop the bleeding inside his brain, but supposedly it will eventually slow down and hopefully stop within a week. After that, the blood should reabsorb back into the body, but it will take several months for it to do so. At that time, a shunt http://www.nlm.nih.gov/medlineplus/ency/article/003019.htm can be surgically inserted, but right now he's too unstable and fragile. An MRI can show any damages to his brain, but again, not for about 3 months until he can regulate his own temperature. Pray that his bleeding will stop and that his body absorbs the blood without or limited adverse developmental effects.

IVH Update

2009-08-14T13:20:00.004-05:00

The circumference of Asher's head increased by 1cm in one day. Normally it would take about a week for the circumference to change that much so the doctors are concerned that his grade 3 IVH maybe more of a grade 4 now. They performed another head ultrasound this morning to see what the new prognosis is and we'll get the results by tonight.
Other Asher news; his belly seems to be doing much better and the drain seems to be doing its job. His blood gas was ph 7.33 and his CO2 levels were good that they reduced his ventilator assistance from 40 to 35 bps. He is also off of his blood pressure medicine. It looks as if his intestines are healing from the numerical data. They continue to keep a close eye on him, but he still has a very tough road ahead.

Snowball

2009-08-13T20:27:00.005-05:00

Good News:

Asher continues to improve, but he is still very very sick. Doctors suggest that it will take 2-3 weeks to completely get over the NEC infection. They have identified the strain of bacteria and are now testing to see which anti-biotic is most effective so he can get off the other anti-biotics he is on. They also found yeast in his respiratory system, but the anti-fungal meds should be countering that also. His heart rate is good, his respiratory rate is good, and his blood pressure all seem to be stabilized.

Bad News:

Typically, preemies are susceptible to brain bleeds by the first week of life, and the head ultrasound performed on Monday showed that everything was normal. Well, that was before his NEC infection. They performed another head ultrasound this morning and the results show that he does indeed have some bleeding in the brain, and to be technical, its called an IntraVentricular Hemorrhage (IVH) and was listed as grade 3, WHICH IS VERY BAD! It only goes to grade 4 and they said he was borderline and could worsen to grade 4. If That was the case, his mortality rate would skyrocket! http://www.aboutkidshealth.ca/prematurebabies/Intraventricular-Hemorrhage-IVH.aspx?articleID=7511&categoryID=PI-nh1-07c The NEC infection was most likely the culprit of the IVH due to the following: low blood platelets and hemoglobin (reduced oxygen), low blood clotting agents (unable to effectively counteract bleeds), acidic blood gas. Also due to his premature age, he was at a higher risk of this. Unfortunately, there's not solution to this problem, except to treat the symptoms that come of it.

He most likely will have some issues down the road and there is a slight chance that he'll turn out to be what you and I would call, normal, but God has done greater miracles than this so please don't stop praying for us now! May we ALWAYS give praise and glory to Him for Asher!

NEC Update

2009-08-13T13:35:00.004-05:00

Asher is recovering and is doing much better today! He is on 3 different antibiotics until they can find out which bacterial infection he has. He is also on anti-fungals and blood pressure meds. His blood gases were really low yesterday ph 6.8 (very acidic) and the last one was ph 7.18. He needs to be around 7.4. They used sodium bicarbonate to counteract the acidity. They did insert a drain plug in his abdomen to drain the waste that has escaped from the perforated intestines. It was a simple 5 minute surgery that didn't require general anesthesia. More extensive surgery could be a possibility in the future, but the goal is to get him stabilized first. They have also been giving him more blood, hemoglobin, and platelets for his recovery. His color is much better today, more pink verses the grayish color that he became during the peak of the infection. He still has a long way to go, but he is headed in the right direction. He will not be fed for a couple weeks and at that time, he will be having breast milk in very small quantities to see if he can tolerate it. Asher will continue to stay at Children's Memorial Hospital and there are no plans or reasons for transferring back to Prentice. Thanks for everyone's prayers and support through a very difficult day yesterday! It truly is a miracle that he is still alive!

The Roller Coaster

2009-08-12T12:57:00.002-05:00

Asher developed a serious infection in his intestines and did very poorly last night. http://kidshealth.org/parent/medical/digestive/nec.html He has been transported to Children's Memorial Hospital where he is in critical condition. They placed a drain in his abdomen to drain out the waste that was not passed through due to the deteriorated intestine. He is being watched very carefully as he is in a life threatening situation. Please pray for his recovery.

It's Show Time!

2009-08-11T23:01:00.003-05:00

Great news! Asher's PDA surgery has been moved up from Thursday to tomorrow, Wednesday at 1pm and should take about 1-1.5hrs. The sooner it's done, the sooner we can move on and start his breast milk feeding. It should be a relatively uncomplicated surgery as they make a small incision between the ribs on his left side where the PDA usually lies, locates it, and ties up the open valve shut. Bear will be in deep hibernation mode during the entire procedure so he won't feel any pain. Prior to the surgery, they are planning on doing another echo to triple check to see if it has closed by itself. Obviously it's in God's hand, so pray for that miracle! If surgery is required, Dr. Bacher (the same doc that did our friend's preemie twins PDA ligation) will be performing the procedure so we're confident that he's in good hands.

The Historical Bear

2009-08-11T16:13:00.005-05:00

Our good friend Karen in Portland filled us in on a more proper meaning/definition/origin of bear:

symbol of loyalty
is knowing & following the wishes of those responsible for me
known for protectiveness and strength

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Excerpts from Wikipedia:

English bear belongs to a family of names for the bear in Germanic languages, in origin from an adjective meaning "brown".In Scandinavia the word for bear is björn (or bjørn), and is a relatively common given name for males. The use of this name is ancient and has been found mentioned in several runestone inscriptions. In Germanic culture, the bear was a symbol of the warrior, as evident from the Old English term beorn which can take the meaning of both "bear" and "warrior".

The reconstructed Proto-Indo-European name of the bear is *rkþos, from earlier *h_artkos, whence Sanskrit r̥kṣa, Avestan arša, Greek ἄρκτος, Latin ursus, Welsh arth (whence perhaps the given name "Arthur"). Also compared is Hittite ḫartagga-, the name of a monster or predator. In the binomial name of the brown bear, Ursus arctos, Linné simply combined the Latin and Greek names. The female first name "Ursula", originally derived from a Christian saint's name and common in English- and German-speaking countries, means "little she-bear" (dimunitive of Latin ursa). In Switzerland the male first name "Urs" is especially popular.

In Russian and other Slavic languages, the word for bear, "Medved" (медведь), and variants or derivatives such as Medvedev are common surnames.

The Irish family name "McMahon" means "Son of Bear" in Irish.

In East European Jewish communities, the name "Ber" (בער) — Yiddish cognate of "Bear" — has been attested as a common male first name, at least since the 18th century, and was among others the name of several prominent Rabbis. The Yiddish "Ber" is still in use among Orthodox Jewish communities in Israel, the US and other countries.

With the transition from Yiddish to Hebrew under the influence of Zionism, the Hebrew word for "bear", "Dov" (דב), was taken up in contemporary Israel and is at present among the commonly used male first names in that country.

"Ten Bears" (Paruasemana) was the name of a well-known 19th Century chieftain among the Comanche. Also among other Native American tribes, bear-related names are attested.

NOS Is For Race Cars and NO is for Bear

2009-08-10T21:47:00.007-05:00

Asher started on nitric oxide (NO) today (not to be confused with nitrous oxide, N2O aka NOS) in his ventilator as a supplement. Studies have shown that preemies that have stayed on the ventilator longer than 7 days are prone to bronchopulmonary dysplasia (BPD) aka lung issues. The nitric oxide helps reduce the risk of BPD by improving the oxygen concentration in the blood by relaxing the blood vessels in the lungs.

Again, good news is that he is off of his light therapy. Bad news is that he has a little skin chafing, possibly from the lights, but isn't a serious issue. Other good news is that the preliminary results of his head ultrasound show no abnormalities and they will give the final report tomorrow morning.

Well, you're all probably wondering what the echo test showed. It looks like Asher still has a moderately sized PDA, so no change from the last set of meds. The doctors are planning to ligate the open PDA Thursday at 4:30pm so please keep him in your prayers. In preparation for the surgery, they are giving him 10cc's of blood over the next 4 hours so he's really stable. The cardiac doc, anesthesiologist and the rest of the crew from Children's Memorial will be coming here to avoid unnecessary trauma to Asher from transportation to Children's Memorial. By the way, the first successful ligation of the PDA was accomplished in 1939. We're more than confident that God will help guide the skilled hands of the cardiologist this coming Thursday! Once the PDA is closed, it should help him regulate his blood oxygen flow which should help ween him off the ventilator quicker! The sooner he's off, the closer he is to coming home!

Tanning is For Preemies

2009-08-10T16:02:00.007-05:00

A quick status until a more detailed report for tonight on Asher. He is off his blue LED photo therapy and won't have to wear those silly goggles anymore... although they are pretty hip and his skin tone is much better! At least that's what the other preemies are saying! The doctors suspect that his PDA is still open but the echo results will come in later today. He is also having a head ultrasound (done after a week of life) to see if he has any brain bleeds. Again we'll find out tonight on the results and since I haven't gotten any calls yet, no news is good news.
Lastly, they tried to ween him off the ventilator, but he just didn't like it so they brought him back up to where he was.
Mom and dad are doing well still! Thanks for everyone that volunteered to do our laundry!
With much love!

Chance of Showers

2009-08-10T09:47:00.006-05:00

I was listening to this song this morning and felt the need to post it.

'Bring the Rain' - Mercy Me

http://www.mercyme.org/main/pages/audio

I can count a million times

People asking me how I

Can praise You with all that I’ve gone through

The question just amazes me

Can circumstances possibly

Change who I forever am in You

Maybe since my life was changed

Long before these rainy days

It’s never really ever crossed my mind

To turn my back on you oh Lord

My only shelter from the storms

But instead I draw closer through these times

So I pray

Bring me joy, bring me peace

Bring the chance to be free

Bring me anything that brings You glory

And I know There’ll be days

When this life brings me pain

But if that’s what it takes to praise You

Jesus Bring the Rain

I am Yours regardless of

The clouds that may loom above

Because You are much greater than my pain

You who made a way for me

By suffering Your destiny

So tell me what’s a little rain

Chorus:

Holy, Holy, Holy

Is the Lord God Almighty

The Journey Through Our Faith

2009-08-09T23:20:00.008-05:00

It have been a week since Asher's arrival into this world and many have asked us how we are doing or how we are holding up through this trial. The answer is that we are JOYFUL, JOYFUL, JOYFUL! We are so blessed with the early arrival of our child, a gift from The Maker! So should we be having feelings of sorrow or disappointment or suffer from depression because our baby came 15 weeks early? Perhaps, but we see it through a completely different worldview. A worldview that sees the beauty and love and grace of the Lord Jesus Christ, our Savior, using miracles like Asher to bring glory to Him! We know that we are fallen creatures with a sin nature, but through Jesus' ultimate sacrifice for us, he conquered death, and promised eternal life with Him in Heaven, if we choose to receive his free gift of salvation. It's not a religion that we inherited or was handed down, but it was a conscious choice that we both made independently to have a personal relationship with Him, Jesus, the only way to the Father, our God. And again it is not merely because we know of Him, but that we know Him in a personal way and that we trust in Him in all things! So where are you in your walk with God? Do you trust in Him in all things, under any circumstance? Or perhaps you are choosing not to follow Him or don't believe in God? Maybe this can be a time for you to self examine yourself, Christian or not, and get back on the right path or accept His Truth and realize that you are putting too much faith in yourself. We believe there's no such thing as luck and chance certainly has never done a thing. Do you want to rely on yourself, luck, or chance, or do you want to rely on a sovereign God? By no means are we saying that we're perfect or have it all together, as we have many short-comings, but we realized that we just can't do it all by ourselves and that our walk with God is something that we together strive to improve on one day at a time. So perhaps you have questions about our faith, so please ask us and we'd love to share the love of Jesus with you. Praise God from whom all blessings flow!

"Get me off this thing!" whispered Bear to his daddy concerning his ventilator.

2009-08-08T16:55:00.006-05:00

The doctors are trying to ween our Bear off the ventilator slowly. They dropped his ventilator rate to 35 bpm (breaths per minute) from 40. My understanding is that they would like to drop it to 20 bpms before they will attempt to take him completely off the support. Studies have shown that preemies that are on the ventilator longer than 7 days are at a higher risk to having problems with their lungs.
He has been responding very well to the adjustments today. He is breathing 21-22% oxygen which is what we are breathing now and his oxygen saturation is very consistent in the high 80 to low 90%. They don't want too high of oxygen saturation, i.e. 100%, because too much too soon is bad for his eyes. He'll need his 20/20 vision to pilot a fighter jet, but more importantly, he needs to have strong lungs so he can win the Tour de France in 2028 (Bear will turn 18) which would make him the youngest to win that race since Henri Cornet in 1904 when he was 19. Either way, mom and dad are proud of him now!

The Origin of Asher, Samuel, and Bear

2009-08-07T16:21:00.008-05:00

Many of you know that I was seriously considering using Bear for his first name after Bear Grylls www.beargrylls.com/ on Discovery Channel, but it just didn't fly with my wife. So we'll keep it as a well suited nickname since he's a survivor!

Anyway, we ended up calling him Asher, son of Jacob, originator of one of the 12 tribes of Israel. Asher means 'happy' and can also mean 'fortunate' or 'blessing'. Read Genesis 30:13 http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Genesis%2030%20;&version=47;

The name Samuel is derived after the prophet, the one who judged Israel and delivered them from the Philistines, means 'heard of God' or 'offspring of God'. Read 1 Samuel 1:20 http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=1%20sam%201;&version=47;

PDA...No, Not Your iPhone

2009-08-07T15:58:00.005-05:00

Well one of the residents just spoke to us concerning Asher's heart valve, the PDA. Apparently the valve which was classified as large is now moderate size so it seems as if the medicine has worked a little, but they are going to treat it again with another set of rounds of indomethacin. Hopefully it will close by the weekend. He is scheduled to get another echo on Monday since they don't do echos on weekends unless it's an emergency. Please continue to pray for his PDA to close completely.

Day 6 of life!

2009-08-07T10:20:00.006-05:00

Asher had a huge milestone yesterday of eventful procedures. First of all, he was able to get a PCVC (percutaneous central venous catheters) which is a main IV line into his arm to replace the smaller lines that were used attached to his belly button. This will allow a greater amount of control for the doctors to regulate his fluids for hydration and nutrition and allows him to sleep on his belly (which apparently is preferred breathing wise by preemies). Secondly he was diagnosed with having a heart murmur (very common in preemies) called PDA (patent ductus arteriosus) http://www.americanheart.org/presenter.jhtml?identifier=1672 on Wednesday which they have treated with a drug called indomethacin. They will do another echo (heart ultrasound) today to see if the PDA has closed entirely so please pray that God will close his little valve today.

Other than that, he continues his photo therapy (light) treatments to counteract jaundice in preemies. He is breathing well with minimal support from the ventilator, his heart continues to be around the 150-160s bpm and oxygen saturation is usually in the 90s.

I thank and praise God for how well our Bear is doing! He opened both eyes today which is a first for me to see!!

How Asher Samuel came into this world!

2009-08-06T23:43:00.006-05:00

Many of you are wondering how this miracle of God came to be so I'll be as succinct as possible.
On Friday July 31st early morning, Lark felt some cramping which didn't go away through the afternoon so she called the Northwestern Midwife group that we were using to see if it needed any attention. They suggested that she come in for a check-up that day since they were not busy and if she waited until the weekend, she would have a longer wait (and thank God we didn't wait)! So we decided to stop in to see the midwife to examine her. Well, apparently Lark has already dialated 1cm (of course the meaning of this was still foreign to me) and her cramping was actually labor contractions. Her expected due date at the time was November 12, my birthday; so on that Friday she was only 25 weeks and 2 days into her pregnancy. The early dialation was not normal so they sent us off to Prentice Women's Hospital where she was immediately admitted and placed in the labor unit. Of course it still didn't really quite set in for me yet, I mean, I wasn't expecting a baby for another 4 months, and what about those classes that I haven't taken yet? Anyway her contractions worsened over the course of the evening and they were sure that the baby would be coming soon, so they recommended that she get some steroid shots to help the baby develop his lungs in preperation for a premature birth. By the morning on Saturday her contractions shockingly to the staff stopped completely so they moved her to a different floor. The floor she was moved to was where women wait before they go into labor, I think it is called the perionatal floor. Lets just say, they aren't as hands on there, meaning she wasn't hooked to all these monitors nor did she have a doctor check in on her. Later that day, her contractions started up again, but much milder and the RNs didn't think much of it. By Saturday evening and very early Sunday morning they were very painful and stronger than when she was admitted on Friday. The wonderful charge nurse Beth had been paging the Resident Physician to come check her out, but he/she must have been a little busy. The RN stepped out for a minute to care for another lady and at that time, Lark felt a strong pressure, and I heard an aspiration sound. I lifted the sheets and noticed legs sticking out of her. Lets just say I was pretty concerned at this point since she has mostly delivered Asher breach because he was so young and has not turned around yet... and nobody around to help. I quickly pressed the nurse assistant button, no answer. Yanked the call cable out of the wall to set the alarm, but heard no alarm, so I ran outside the door into the hallway and yelled for help. Of course at this time I was expecting an immediate response, but the seconds felt like hours. The maintenance people looked at me strangely, probably thinking, who's this weird guy screeming in the hallway. Finally about 15 medical personel came rushing through the doors, much calmer than I, and finished delivering Asher. They then stabilized him and wisked him off to the NICU (neonatal intensive care unit) run by the doctors from Children's Memorial Hospital, a division of Northwestern Memorial Hospital. He couldn't be in a better place! We thank the Lord for this miracle of life and we thank everyone that prayed fervently for Lark and Asher's health! We couldn't have gotten through the day without our precious prayer warriors! Praise God! So please welcome Asher Samuel a.k.a. 'Bear' Ramirez born 8:34am on 8/2/09 at 1lb 12oz and 12"!